Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
