dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
