So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
