We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
