Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
