okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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