That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Damn victory sex feels great
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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