he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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