I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize