Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
