The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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