the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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