The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
