I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
