But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
