That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
