And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
