I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
