Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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