I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
