Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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