smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
