my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
