He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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