she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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