btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
