So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
we're making bets on your personal life
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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