If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
