btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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