Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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