You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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