I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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