So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We're too hungover to prance.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
