do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
