This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
