So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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