Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
