sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
