Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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