i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
ok first of all what the fuck
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