I'm really into asian looking animals
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
