He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
