Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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