they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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