Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
