Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
