at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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