the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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