She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
