Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
