Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
