he shaved USA in his pubs
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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