Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
