Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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