Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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